As many of you know, I am not a fan of shidduch resumes. I believe the old system of matchmaking worked better, when each shadchan got to know the single they were setting up in a personal way, not based on a piece of paper.
Hashem made your shidduch 40 days before you were born, but today’s shidduch dating sites have turned finding your soulmate into an Amazon-style business entity, fostering a sense of endless options. The reality is that some singles have piles and piles of resumes to wade through, and will base their choice off of a photo they demand; psychologists confirm that too many choices is emotionally unhealthy for people. At the same time, other singles sit at home with the phone silent and no suggestions. And people who call themselves matchmakers think that forwarding profiles randomly without getting to know the singles is the best way to treat those seeking to get married.
I have 3 suggestions for you to help cut through all this chaos:
- Since it is, unfortunately, the standard to have a shidduch profile, make sure yours is great. Click here to buy my guide to writing great shidduch resumes for just $1.99.
- Do not post it in chats and “shidduch” groups. Only share it with matchmakers who will actually meet you and spend time to get to know you.
- Never make a decision – yes or no – to date someone based on a shidduch resume. Make sure you have heard directly, in a real conversation, why someone is suggesting this match. Because once you go on a first date, you should give the person 3 dates. So make sure it sounds like a feasible match and not a waste of your time.