Ironically, just hours before Lag Ba’Omer, the day we commemorate the students of Rabbi Akiva dying because they failed to show proper respect for one another, I experienced one of the most disturbing conversations I’ve had in over 25 years as a matchmaker. I had never met “Moshe.” Someone had suggested him to a woman…
DetailsWhen Silence Is Holy: Lashon Hara, Shidduchim, and the Psychology of Gossip In Parshas Kedoshim, the Torah reminds us that holiness is not achieved only through avodas Hashem, but also through how we treat others – bein adam l’chaveiro. During Sefiras Ha’Omer, a time when many are especially mindful of interpersonal conduct, this message feels particularly urgent. One area…
DetailsThis week’s parsha, Tzav, highlights an important theme for dating couples: the need to explore shared financial values. Rabbi Yissachar Frand explains that the word “Tzav” (command) is used when Hashem asks Bnei Yisrael to do something difficult, especially when it involves financial sacrifice. The Gemara (Kiddushin 29a) teaches that these mitzvos require extra urgency,…
DetailsWe all know that friend or relative whose Shabbos table is already set on Thursday night. The food is prepared, the house is spotless, and everything seems calm and perfectly organized. I love that version of reality. But somehow, in many homes, it doesn’t work out that way. Five extra guests call at the last…
DetailsComing out of the Purim holiday, I read an opinion that Queen Esther, before she married Achashveirosh, was at least 40 years old. According to some commentaries, from her yellow skin tone to other ugly features, she may not have been a beauty queen. We will come back to this point in a moment, but…
DetailsFor someone who considers herself intelligent, she made a comment that was not only unwise, but deeply offensive. Offensive enough that I knew instantly I could not, in good conscience, introduce her to any quality young man I know. What made it even more striking was that this conversation took place shortly before Purim, a…
DetailsA friend and I recently went to a small moshav near Beit Shemesh to daven at the kever of a great tzaddik. People from across Israel travel around the world to daven at famous holy sites, yet few realize that great yeshuos have come to those who daven at the kever of Rav Yitzchak Gavra…
DetailsWhen I reached out to “Shulamit” this week to suggest “Aron,” a truly wonderful young man, she told me she had seen him once and wasn’t sure she felt attracted to him, so she wasn’t interested. Aron is good-looking, healthy, stable, and kind, yet this woman in her forties would not agree to a first…
DetailsFor several years, I have been involved in efforts to prevent the continued desecration and looming destruction of a major Jewish cemetery in Vilna, which contains the remains of approximately 50,000 Jews. During this work, I was deeply moved to learn that the Vilna Gaon was buried alongside the plot containing the ashes of the…
DetailsThe Law of Attraction: Shidduch Lessons from Bnei Yisrael’s Travels in the Midbar It’s easy to associate shidduchim with this week’s parsha because of Kriyas Yam Suf. Chazal famously compare finding a spouse to the splitting of the sea. But there is another theme in this parsha that feels especially relevant to today’s dating world,…
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