As I am working to organize and plan a great weekend retreat for singles in New Jersey in the Fall, I am doing a little less activity as a shadchan, although I still welcome singles to register with me by uploading their profile to www.TheShadchanit.com.

Beyond that, there are two shidduch websites that I recommend every shadchan be using and every unmarried male or female be registered on.

As a shadchan for 20+ years, I have seen my fair share of shidduch tools for singles and shadchanim. Some are better and some are worse. Some have come and some have gone. I have seen others transition tremendously, such as SYAS and Sholom Blatter’s list, both of which I have stopped using for various reasons, but if they are working for you that’s great.

I have one piece of advice for singles and shadchanim – don’t overkill. Being on dozens of Whatsapp or Facebook groups, every website, and every shidduch list leads to burnout. It can be depressing when nothing much comes from all your efforts. And in particular, any site or list that does not require an actual date of birth often has profiles up to 10 years old, so buyer beware. I do believe that it is great to be on multiple professional sites.

There are two that I strongly recommend for everyone.

Partners in Shidduchimwww.PartnersInShidduchim.com was built on the Zivugtech platform but it is its own site. And it is in the process of creating a brand new, state-of-the-art independent website. This site is completely free, founded by couple who married at an older age. It is designed to empower singles and those who know singles to be a shadchan. Whether you are a single, shadchan, relative, neighbor, friend etc., you can upload a profile to the site. Upon doing that, you will get access to search the site yourself instead of waiting for someone else to set you up. Some of its great features are its search tool, and you can set up people on the site with people who are not on the site. My three recommendations for using this site:

  1. Check it weekly. New profiles are going up regularly.
  2. If you want to protect the privacy of a single, don’t include a photo and don’t include a last name. (So far, about half of the site’s shidduchim were made without a photo.)
  3. I strongly discourage singles from including their own contact info, but rather to have a friend or even a professional shadchan be the contact to do initial screening. The single could still search the site, but if someone wants to go out with him/her, they’d have to go through a representative for the single.

Yismach – Yismach.org is a singles database for shadchanim. Singles upload their profile, and pre-screened shadchanim can set them up. Singles on the site can be set up with singles off the site, which expands opportunities. By being on this site, you enable over 100 quality, experienced shadchanim to have access to your profile. Yismach also hosts “Meet the Shadchan” events in the U.S. and Israel, giving singles face-to-face opportunities with shadchanim.

If you are single and you have shadchanim you like working with, please encourage them to register to use both sites, and to regularly search on your behalf. But be pro-active yourself, and be searching on www.partnersinshidduchim.com for your own soulmate.

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